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so I have this job right...and I make more than all but one of my friends my age (23, 24 this year) and it can sometimes be really exciting but....
it's not what I want to be doing....but I'm reluctant to give it up:/ and I am SO SICK of Arizona I just want to go to California, Florida or New York
pref, Cali
but it's kind of scary to take that leap, and if I do that, and keep this job I don't know when I'll get a chance to do what i want to do, and if i QUIT this job, I'll have to find a way to make a living in an expensive state while also trying to get into my choice business....
I'm so strung out about all this that it keeps bringing back my depression and I'm starting to become a little concerned...
I just don't know anymore.
I need someone to tell me what to do with facts because my parents will side with keeping this job and probably staying in this state for security both financial and otherwise
but I don't want to be a sellout, I don't just want to be living to make money and not pursuing what makes me truly happy...but i also don't want to be out on the streets broke
My lease in the apt that I currently share with my roommates ends in june i believe, I haven't been at that apartment in 3 months because of this job
....i don't know anymore:/

Current Mood: distressed distressed

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The Show
-I really like these intros ^_^
-hey… it's the mayor from Weeds…what else are you in?
-Yay! Amber got her own speech! ^_^
-Mr Jim Parsons ^_^
-I like that last girl, because I, too, cannot sing:p
-That was a lovely speech :p
-…i'm honestly concerned she's going to pass out:/
-I haven't seen it but i want to:/
-So far I'm on Misters Modern Family out of that catagory….yes! that Stella moment was hilarious!
-no way….really? Alec Baldwin?! The Modern Family boys shouldve had that
-everybody elses faces were like….wtf hahaha
-of course…. i like how the Modern Family mom downed her glass of whatever:p
-GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE!!!!!!!! (it's not going to win but I so wish it did)
-Big Bang Theory, Modern Family second choices….but GLEEEEEEEEE-
-:( I like Modern Family but the show needs to be done now because it keeps taking Glee's awards:(
-That kid that plays Lily looks a LOT like my cousin ^_^
-Damn you, funny people!! Damn you!
-gahhh :(
-OMG MAGGIE SMITH PLEASE?!  0----of course not…I'm convinced their failures are because I WANT them to win:(
-this Emily Watson person….every time she's mentioned I'm looking for EMMA Watson:/
-lol Bridesmaids cast:p
-OMG DICK VAN DYKE!!!! (no joke, i thought i'd heard he had died:/)
-he looks very dapper ^_^….but some of those comparisons are not really …idk, but no
-lol you go Tina Fey
-DEXTER!!! Woot Woot!…..I don't dig your beard sir, and THAT is why you lost…not my rooting for you:p
-LEA!…oh:( that was quick:(
-DEXTER! …I actually haven't watched a complete season since S4
-Natalie Portman! Woot Woot!
-I feel like haven't seen 70% or more of what's been nominated :/
-Michelle Williams did an amazing job in that film which is why she won't win, just watch
-Oh look! I was right! :/
-but geez does this woman look gorgeous in that dress! You rock it Viola Davis!
-This lady is a great speaker, she's got beautiful messages and I bet once she gets over the nerves of doing this, she's going to be SPECTACULAR
-GEEEEZ this show was hella long:/

Current Mood: exhausted exhausted

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the red carpet
-This Viola person that i don't know…i like how you wear that dress*nod* yes
-Ahhhh Lea texting, she looks very pretty ^_^
-Matthew=Shaggy…that is all
-Kaley Cuoco =pretty…in her cotton candy dress
-honestly, all boys wear tuxes of some kind so…that's why they don't get commented on as much:/
-Matt Cskdjfdfs…yes
-oh yeah juliana, jinx it for kevin and Sedwig
-i don't like these commentators, i kind of want to punch them all in the face
-I …never feel like I'm going to see Dianna Agron at these things because she's a sneaky ninja:/
-I feel like Julianna is that snob of snobs (but I don't know her so i shouldn't judge)
-that other lady in the purple/blue/white …thing following around Michelle/Marilynn ….what's up with that?
-Jenna Ushkowitz! Glee count up to 2
-Modern family count up to 3
-I'm going to be famous and just be like no….if boys can wear suits all the time….no
-I wonder if that guy next to george clooney thinks it's acceptable to pick his nose just because he's next to george clooney?
-NAYA RIVERA……..DAAAAAAAAAAAAY-UM! Talk about gorgeous!
-Lea looks fantabulous ^_^ where is her yummy date, Mr Groff?
-Amber Riley! We're up to Glee count = 4 (but i'm saying 5 because Lea got a better shot now worthy of being called good
-Anorexic chick count….idk lost count after a while
-Sophia Vergara…that is not fair *frowny face* geezus woman, give other ladies a chance …….AAAAAAAND that is more than I needed to know about your underwear:/
-see that is nice conversation, how Sophia Vergara ended up with her guy, she was comfortable talking about it, and it was a sweet answer …aand then Juliana pushed it too far
-okay Sophia….be done:/  *rolls eyes* come on, be a lady
-okay okay, I like Mr Clooney and everything but really…that's too much
-OH MY LOVELY LOVELY GLEE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!^_^_^_^_^_^_^
-SOOOOOOOO HANDSOME!!!! OMG! I think I might have fallen a little more for Mr Darren Criss (this is the first time i've seen him look yummy outta Glee)
-Kevin McHale looks lovely in his tux ^_^
-Darren, baby, I would kick your ass at table hockey ^_^
-ohhh this Office guy looks very lovely and i did NOT know that was a couple! I DIG iT! they look good together
-JANE LYNCH FTW!!! x50 bijillion for juggling!
-Juliana..these "just a little ___" is getting old
-no no, let's talk about Naya Rivera *nod* her…she wins
-YES!!!! HOLY SHIZ! No joke, DAAAAAMN (i honestly have no other comment for her amazingnezz)
-ummm we forgot Lea with the greyish..whatever you said! She looks good too!
-and seriously, a lot of them ARE wearing grey….do they do it on purpose? is there a colorcode for these things?
-so from the commercial, Ice T realized that SVU was on it's way down once there was no Stabler/Benson team and jumped ship?
-Meryl ^_^
-EMMA STONE! *high five to her* she looks good too  (but she's high fiveable, I feel)
-I think everyone is out to get Juliana sick *evil laugh* MUAHAHAHAHAHA
-Amber Heard…. ehhhh I don't know why I ehhhh I just don't
-OMG DIANNA AGRON!!! FRAK YES!! *excuse my language*  I <3 that story ^_^
-I didn't see that pic but..
-ooooo Look Chord Overstreet, handsome
-*sigh* I've had my fix, I'm good now:p
-ok Steve,  i <3 you and I apologize for the previous comment but any time Dianna gets to speak…you shhhhh! she never gets enough screen time!
-oh this is a great convo, the statues ass *nod* sure
-Dianna Agron makes me smile ^_^ she's a sweetheart
-(cuz I totally know her pshhhh) hahaha yeah right:p
-I like how BOTH of them needed to interview Brad Pitt
-I do dig Ms Jolie
-god you two are SOOOOOO awkward
-Yep Emma Srone,
-no, let's go back to Naya ^_^
-oohhhhhh Lea ^_^

Current Location: Not at the SAG:(
Current Mood: excited excited

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All of a sudden, I'm not okay. I don't know where it came from, or why it hit out of the blue like this but as my BEST friend basically just scolded me for posting a random thought on FACEBOOK for some unknown reason, I felt the need to post my one sentence status update where I know he won't see. So, thank you, best friend.

Current Mood: depressed depressed

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Some times I think; if I knew, I could honestly love you. But I don't, know you so I don't let myself fall that deep. Though I really think you were made for me, I can't let myself fall for at this current junction of my life, our paths are nowhere near intertwining. Know, though, that you could be my everything, and I would want you to, I need you to be but I am trying to remain somewhat practical for the sake of my sanity and possibly yours as well as it would not be healthy for us to fall so deep without you knowing mine as well as I do thous.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

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Current Mood: crushed crushed

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my cut is acting weird
-LMAO at Emma:)
-faberry togetherness *nod*
-"oh no it's the salad lady"
-"sex, it's like hugging but wetter" thank you for that Ms Paltrow
-Do You Wanna Touch Me wins….when sung by Joan Jett *shakes head* no Gwyneth, just no
-this dance has been approved by me
-the girls rock the scene but the boys…minus finn do quite the job as well
-can i just say …"oh yeah"
-lmao can Holly just teach sexed everywhere!
-lmao @ Sylvester also…nice gold track suit
-hellz ya for Blaine doing ANYTHING sexified:D he's like….adonis*nod*
-hahaha "youre finally gonna let me motorboat those twins?"-nice puck
-you just got Zyzed…i like it….also…..ew
-YOU are Blaine, you are totally scream worthy
-omg Blurt duet?! YESSSSSS:D..lmao at kurt's dancing but his facial expressions are so cute hahaha he's adorable
-my mom was just saying she missed Kurt's singing, there you go mom
-lmao poor Kurt
-:'( Santana stop beiing a bitch to our Brits :'(
-*gasp* youre a bitch, leave her alone!
-hahaha wow nice 'teaching'
-oh santana lmao a shrub shaped like a person?!
-Santana! talk to her!
-ohhhh Blaine….god youre sooooooooo dreamy *sigh*
-oh kurt, you're so sweet:)…when you wanna be
-i<3 that song! and as a tango?! oh.my.god!!!!!(kiss-prince)
-hahaha they sound the same!
-the dance was hot….not schuester's cuz idk. i am just annoyed by his presence but the background dancers
- aww i love Blaine's concern for Kurt:) *sigh* sooo sooo dreamy
 -and i love that he's coming to Burt about it :)
-awwwwwwwwww Brittana:)
-Santana actually looks sweet:) and, i'm still constantly thrown by Nayas awesome voice
-awww don't cry San, well ok but only cuz you need to honest up for yourself
-lmao "i wish you and i were that close"- Sam, you seriously don't get it lol
-i<3 Rachel and Quinn time even w
-the song….not my kinda music but :) Quinn singing:D w Rach:D
-lmao ohhh poor Emma doesnt understand what "after noon delight" is
-YAY! I love that Burt is such an understanding and supporting father:D *hugs*
-psh SOME women get that it's about more but some are just as …idk what about sex as guys
-aww Burt hahaha "i think on your 30th birthday, it's a great gift for yourself" re: sex
-awww I want a Burt!dad that's right Kurt, BE GRATEFUL! you did a great job Burt
-hahaha married for four months no sex, plus a ton of cuddling
-lol giggle!fits
-*shakes head* why do ppl GET married if they feel like that about someone else?
-"my lips are sealed, just like your legs"
-….oh San…. :( thank you for opening up. Dont be afraid babe!
-ohhh Brit hahaha i love your confidence towards your girl!
-awww for Zyzes/puck
-awww for Santana giving up
-OMG YOU LOOK CORGEOUS QUINN but no no no Finn!!!!!
-I still wanna cry over the Brittana:(
-ahhahaha veggie tales is now for adults
-ugh i hate you will shut up…
-next week: oh quinn, no:(

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Current Location: hell
Current Mood: depressed depressed

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ok in all honesty- I went to see this movie cuz of my awesome love of the Agron. I wasnt expecting to actually LIKE the movie besides the scenes featuring our lovely Lady D. However, this movie was QUITE kick ass!!!
I'll admit, I wasnt digging it at first. Alex P's voice overs didnt quite do it for me :/ and at first, I couldnt help staring at him thinking "him? really D?" but he grew on me as the movie went, and i LOVED seeing Dianna in something other than the bitchy cheerleader role! She did a great job and I it was great seeing her playing this sweet photographer :) and those freakin moves Number Six pulled?!?!?!?! ANND JOHNSMITH(NUMBER4)?!?!?! FREAKIN' AWESOME! parkour is quite an amazing talent and i really enjoyed seeing this movie and will probably watch it again

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Current Mood: cheerful cheerful

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Ok I live in AZ and got to go to the first glee concert last year (first on the tour that is)
the idea of not going to this one just cuz it was outta state sucked so ....i'm plotting a road trip to vegas w a fellow gleek:D
i'm psyched, and really hope to meet a ton of other gLeeks:D

Current Location: Room
Current Mood: excited excited
Current Music: none

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woke up at 4 something am cuz the dog wanted to go out
only to be met w a text that infuriated me.
I went as far as erasing this message and trying to erase it from my mind for it was simple and three words long
but now, at 443am, i still cant get back to sleep cuz I'm FUCKING PISSED.
it's over something stupid but it's been brewing and now i cant get rid of this ANGER at this person and i hate it
i wanted to post something about it on facebook but that person is there too, as well as my family and a bunch of other ppl that dont seem
to realize that i too get fucking angry and would immediately get on my case w "what's wrongs" and "what the fucks" cuz they wouldnt understand why i was so angry and sometimes....
well sometimes you just need a place to fucking vent
....but now i really want that punching bag i saw at dicks sporting goods yesterday>:(

Current Mood: aggravated aggravated

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sooo on Oct25 i came across this dog on the light rail tracks of the station by my apt complex. Before knowing what i was gonna do with him, i took him to the vet to get his shots and had him shaved (he was heavily matted).
That night i bought him a crate w a bed thing and a bowl w some cheap food to hold off until i found out what to do with him....suprise surprise... i got attached and he now is mine
-i'm having issues though cuz i get FUCKING PISSED at my roommate...she has a need to control everything! including MY dog (he's very well behaved)

Current Location: living room
Current Mood: aggravated aggravated

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